Your Change Programme Isn't Broken. Your People Just Haven't Said Goodbye Yet.

Most change doesn’t fail because the idea was wrong. It fails because people never let go of what came before.

You see it in almost every growing organisation.

The strategy makes sense.
The structure is logical.
The case for change is clear.

And yet progress is slower than it should be. Decisions drag and energy dips.
Resistance shows up in ways that are hard to pin down.

From the outside, it looks like a delivery problem but in reality, it’s usually something else.

Loss

There’s a point in most change efforts that doesn’t get enough attention.

It sits between understanding the need for change and fully operating in the new world.

It’s the moment where people have to let go of what came before. However, if you don’t know what it is that people are holding on to, how are you supposed to tackle it?

Most models of change recognise this in some form. The Kubler-Ross change curve and Bridges Transitions both talk about  the need to move through the phase of what came before, but it’s overlooked and change management skips to what’s next.

What's interesting is that it's rooted in science too. Loss aversion tells us that the pain of losing something feels roughly twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining something equivalent. It's not weakness or resistance for its own sake — it's just how we're wired.

I see this play out in my coaching work constantly. Until someone feels genuinely seen and heard in what they're losing, they simply can't move forward. The cognitive and the emotional are telling the same story.

When it comes to managing change, frequently in practice, this is where things stall.

Because leaders move on too quickly.

They focus on where the organisation is going.
The opportunity. The benefits. The future state.

Meanwhile, the people going through it are still processing what they’re losing.

And if that isn’t surfaced, it doesn’t disappear.
It just turns into friction.

What to do

You’ll need to get everyone together in a room. Both the people going through the change, but also those who are leading the change and are able to provide answers and talk openly.

I would always recommend doing this face to face wherever possible, it’ll feel more human and connected.

You then get everyone to put all their concerns about what will be lost on a whiteboard. Some will be tangible (a job, responsibilities, opportunity for growth, interesting work), sometimes intangible (the opportunity to work in a team I like, feeling valuable by being the ‘go to’ person or the feeling of certainty and control).

But the key thing is that you create the safety. No controlling what comes out, no right or wrong, but just a space to listen.

That kind of space is rarer than it sounds as most organisations are wired for problem-solving and forward momentum, not for sitting with discomfort long enough to actually clear it. It won’t always feel easy or comfortable, but inviting that discomfort will be where start to feel a real shift.  

It then provides the leaders with a chance to see this all out in front of them. Sometimes it highlights gaps of communication. Sometimes there are some false assumptions. Sometimes there is something that cannot be changed but can be acknowledged. All of it is valuable.

All of this is absolute gold. People feel heard. Untrue rumours get corrected. New pathways are created and relationships are elevated. It creates the opportunity to get everyone on the same page.

If you’re feeling stuck, take the time to give this a go and there’s a good chance it’ll get you unstuck.

Going through it now?

If you’re currently managing a big programme of change and want to learn more, feel free to drop me a line, I’d be happy to unpick it with you.